WHY LOVE OCTOBER?

During half term the show I have been planning all year will be on here in Norwich #FAV18 a small group show by some incredible women. The show comes at parenting and mental health in a very forward approach, this year we have focused on maternal and children’s mental health and the intricacy of this is powerfully represented. Alongside the show is a set of family art workshops and Practitioners seminars, including a The psychology of Domestic abuse and a service user experience seminar.

First up 1stOctober is Anti-Bullying Day, bullying at school, work or from a narcissist has a huge impact on a persons wellbeing and can be a stepping stone to different mental health struggles.  I have been a bully, a narcs flying monkey, I was bullied at various schools, older boys than girls my age. In our house, we pick apart bullying behaviour and wonder in what way that person is hurting, and discuss how what they are doing is shitty and how to avoid it or not engage. Finding ways to bolster self-esteem, and not let the bullies words be a script for your inner dialogue. Bullying can be incredibly powerful if your family culture has no emotional vocabulary which is where I was until about 3 years ago.

Emotional Intelligence Month & Dyslexia Month share October. which I find beautiful because I was bullied by my first school teachers getting called “slow coach” and “lazy bones” when age 7. Many schools later, in uni, I had full dyslexia diagnostic, turns out, I have a really poor working memory. I was stunned when asked to read a few short paragraphs and asked questions after each, how little I had retained.  One of the fun bits is writing back to front when typing and writing I’ll start a word with its last letter first. or sometimes I swap the first and last letters around and don’t even notice.

Before Dynoboy was born reading occasionally to my siblings was fine, reading out loud at  school filled me with dread, sweaty palms and racing pulse, unable to make sense of the word “the” it was uncomfortable for everyone when a temp teacher asked me to read aloud. However, Dynoboy loved books, as soon as he could sit up on his own he was all over them. Enjoying the interaction of being read to. The local libraries are brilliant in Norfolk, it’s there that I got over my inability to read aloud. The repetitive nature of young childrens needs meant I could read some with my eyes closed and did. There did hit a point years later when he learnt to be patient and kind, exhausted bedtime stories with smaller text and longer chapters, that sneaky word THE knotting my tongue again.

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In those times I wouldn’t have been able to describe how it felt or why reading to and with loved ones was important.  There was very little emotional intelligence radiating from the adults around me growing up. Difficult things where discussed by what someone had done to you, not how it or they made you feel.  Events and scripts where verbalised but never emotions. WHICH is really scary come to think about it. so glad I escaped that nightmare!

31st HALOWEEEEEEN! Halloween is like Christmas for me and my siblings, we get more excited and the house is more decorated, we do more things together than we do any other time of year. My theory on why it turned out this way is pretty dark. If I  feel up to it I’ll make a video telling a spooky story about a creepy little family that found happy in the strangest places.  #ThisIsHalloween most likely in my insta stories. @findingavoice

jackolantern
Swede smells & smells the best!

 

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